Who the Indiana Pacers Should Definitely Draft

     

    As a fan that has newly committed himself to the Indiana Pacers, I have a lot riding on the 2021 NBA Draft. Having watched enough college basketball games to count on one hand (and 0 Pacers games) I am perhaps positioned better than anyone in the sports world to give an unbiased and expert opinion on who should be next to don the Navy and Gold. Obviously I am not equipped to judge these prospects on talent or fit, so "where do we go from here" you ask? Everyone knows that talent is only part of the equation in determining a player's success in the league, maybe not even half. For that reason I will be making my picks based on the following categories:

-Hair

-Name

-Off the bus factor (intimidation)

Hair

1. Sharife Cooper

This guy's afro is so glorious that he was mistakenly measured at 3 inches taller than his actual height at the combine. "Bounce" is a term used a lot in basketball and this guy's hair has plenty of it. Give me Cooper and lets run some great arena promotions and give the fans some 'fros.

2. Ayo Dosonmu

If Ayo's play style matches his hair style, he will be a menace on the court. This hair style should belong to the guy that is an absolute nuisance on defense and will light up the scoreboard every 8th game. This is the kind of hair that a team can build an identity around.

Name

1. JT Thor

His last name is Thor... nuff said. This is a commentator or social media account's wet dream. Cue the "Thor HAMMERS it down with a THUNDEROUS dunk!". I will say, this guy and the Thunder would be a match made in heaven, but screw that I want him on the Pacers.

2. Mac McClung

What makes a great name? To me, alliterations are the recipe to a great name. The cousin of musical genius Riff Raff, this family knows how to make a good alliteration. Is McDonalds endorsing this guy yet?

Dishonorable Mention - David Duke

That is just a tough name. You gotta find a nickname, unless you can become more famous and for better reasons. Good luck to this kid.

Off the Bus Factor

1. Joshua Giddey

Anytime you get an unassuming white guy walking off the bus, you know the guy must be a baller. This TikTok looking mfer will drop some buckets (maybe) and then overpay for weed and think he is getting a steal.

2. Alex Antetokounmpo

Other than the fact that this guy's brother is an NBA champion, 2x MVP, and DPOY; he fits that "slim reaper" type build that Giannis and Kevin Durant have going. These guys are just so wiry you wonder how you'll defend them or get around them just walking off the bus

3.Charles Bassey

This guy is SOLID. Bassey is the "off the bus" guy in the much more traditional sense because he just looks like a brick wall. I'm not going down the lane if he is there, and I'm damn sure getting the hell out of the way if he is coming down it.